So I'm going to bring something up from the recent Geneva Auto Show. It pretty got passed over, like the show itself, and no one paid attention to it.
I like to think of it as a harbinger of the future, unfortunately.
This is it, the Mercedes F800 Style.
It looks like a shark with a peace symbol shoved up its nose, and carefully creased sides.
The ass looks like a blend of BMW, VW and Mazda design cues. But it's pretty inoffensive.
It's also got a nice set of sliding doors in back.
I rather like those rear doors, personally. Entering and exiting would be much easier, and much more distinguished, in parking lots or the curb at the latest nightclub.
The interior's not bad either, really.
Granted, it looks like every other damn concept car from the last ten years, but whatever. It still looks nice.
So, really, it's a pretty standard concept. Mercedes is testing out new design cues and possible interior treatments. Nothing new there, boys and girls.
And those doors have a heretic's hope in hell of making it into the real world.
Oh, and it's supposedly powered by a nonexistent a fuel cell. Meh.
Why, then, did I call it the harbinger of the future you may ask.
Well, it's because of the technology this damn thing is showcasing. Just one in particular.
It's called DISTRONIC PLUS Traffic Jam Assist. I don't know what the hell "distronic plus" is referring to. It's probably something that the marketing department coughed up to make it sound cool, because all it's describing is a new type of cruise control.
But this new type of cruise control has a feature that I loathe with every fiber of my being. Using the cruise control's radar, the car can actually steer itself through a corner at speeds of up to 25mph by following the car in front of it.
According to Mercedes, the system can tell the difference between regular traffic and some idiot in front of you swerving off the road, or taking a different corner.
I don't care.
I don't care if it can tell the difference between taking a corner, making a turn or a circus trained elephant. Putting something like that in a car is, well, bloody effing stupid.
Have we gotten to the point that people can't be bothered to steer their car? Already we have cruise control systems that will automatically slow the car if traffic slows down. So now we don't have to, I don't know, drive?
It's a bunch of crap.
All of this technology bull that keeps getting shoved in cars is making drivers more stupid. I don't have to look behind me when I back up because I have a camera that does it for me. I don't have to pay attention on the highway because the car will tell me when I'm straying out of my lane. I don't have to worry about when to change my oil because the car tells me when to do it.
Tell me, automakers, how am I driving a car anymore? I'm not controlling it, the damn computer is.
When people don't have to pay attention anymore to their car, they stop caring about it and about driving. They just do stuff, and think that the computer or whatever happens to be in the car will take care of it.
Well, what happens when the computer breaks? Or what if something happens that's outside of the computer's control?
I honestly think that's what's happened with Toyota's cars, to pull that back in here. People are so damn used to the car just doing it's thing that they don't know what to do in case of an emergency. They don't know how anything works anymore, and they don't care because it doesn't need their attention, or so they think.
People, basically, don't know how to drive.
It's sickening, and the damn manufactures aren't helping.
But the genie can't go back into the lamp. Not now. Everyone's clamoring for more tech garbage, and it'll eventually lead to cars that drive themselves.
I won't have any of that. Give me a manual transmission and a set of manual door locks. At least then I'll know that I'm in control, not HAL.
It's also got a nice set of sliding doors in back.
I rather like those rear doors, personally. Entering and exiting would be much easier, and much more distinguished, in parking lots or the curb at the latest nightclub.The interior's not bad either, really.
Granted, it looks like every other damn concept car from the last ten years, but whatever. It still looks nice.So, really, it's a pretty standard concept. Mercedes is testing out new design cues and possible interior treatments. Nothing new there, boys and girls.
And those doors have a heretic's hope in hell of making it into the real world.
Oh, and it's supposedly powered by a nonexistent a fuel cell. Meh.
Why, then, did I call it the harbinger of the future you may ask.
Well, it's because of the technology this damn thing is showcasing. Just one in particular.
It's called DISTRONIC PLUS Traffic Jam Assist. I don't know what the hell "distronic plus" is referring to. It's probably something that the marketing department coughed up to make it sound cool, because all it's describing is a new type of cruise control.
But this new type of cruise control has a feature that I loathe with every fiber of my being. Using the cruise control's radar, the car can actually steer itself through a corner at speeds of up to 25mph by following the car in front of it.
According to Mercedes, the system can tell the difference between regular traffic and some idiot in front of you swerving off the road, or taking a different corner.
I don't care.
I don't care if it can tell the difference between taking a corner, making a turn or a circus trained elephant. Putting something like that in a car is, well, bloody effing stupid.
Have we gotten to the point that people can't be bothered to steer their car? Already we have cruise control systems that will automatically slow the car if traffic slows down. So now we don't have to, I don't know, drive?
It's a bunch of crap.
All of this technology bull that keeps getting shoved in cars is making drivers more stupid. I don't have to look behind me when I back up because I have a camera that does it for me. I don't have to pay attention on the highway because the car will tell me when I'm straying out of my lane. I don't have to worry about when to change my oil because the car tells me when to do it.
Tell me, automakers, how am I driving a car anymore? I'm not controlling it, the damn computer is.
When people don't have to pay attention anymore to their car, they stop caring about it and about driving. They just do stuff, and think that the computer or whatever happens to be in the car will take care of it.
Well, what happens when the computer breaks? Or what if something happens that's outside of the computer's control?
I honestly think that's what's happened with Toyota's cars, to pull that back in here. People are so damn used to the car just doing it's thing that they don't know what to do in case of an emergency. They don't know how anything works anymore, and they don't care because it doesn't need their attention, or so they think.
People, basically, don't know how to drive.
It's sickening, and the damn manufactures aren't helping.
But the genie can't go back into the lamp. Not now. Everyone's clamoring for more tech garbage, and it'll eventually lead to cars that drive themselves.
I won't have any of that. Give me a manual transmission and a set of manual door locks. At least then I'll know that I'm in control, not HAL.
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