The Despised: Part Three

Behold, the third part of the cars that must roast in the fires of mediocrity.

The segment is the minivan.

The subject is the Volkswagen Routan (2008-Present).

Now, the minivan is a dying breed. First, the SUV wounded it and then the sudden appearance of crossovers drove a stake into it's heart.

But, Volkswagen is trying to triple their US sales. So they're attacking every segment of the market. The result?

This:
Now, in terms of minivan style, it's not terrible. It looks like a Volkswagen, it has the massive badge and upturned grill.

Not great. But not a car that makes you scream,"Oh God, kill it now."
Really, it's similar to an SUV in its proportions. The front and back are slightly more squared off.

Volkswagen's designers knew what they were doing, right?

Nope. Volkswagen had very little to do with this. So, the question is, who did?

Well, take a look.
Hmm, different face, same body.

The same is true at the back.
The two have slightly different tailgates, but it's still the same rear.

And the interior?

Here's Volkswagen's
And here's Dodge's.

Yeah, change the vents and the GPS screen and it's the same thing. It's disgusting, revolting, and incredibly lazy.

Volkswagen wants to triple their market share, good for them. It's stupid though, because the US isn't the biggest market for cars anymore, that's China and India. But whatever, let the fine folks at VW do what they want.

However, don't peddle this Dodge in drag.

All Volkswagen did was change the looks a little and fiddle with the suspension to make it "their" model. But that's not much.

The Routan is built on the same assembly line as the Dodge. Side by side they go down the line, getting their parts, and then they get shipped off to compete against each other in the sales room.

It's infuriating. Especially when Volkswagen thought about doing this:

It's their Microbus concept from 2001. They actually planned to build a production model that would look something like this.

But they killed it in 2005. They said it would cost too much. So they called Chrysler and struck a deal.

Now they peddle the Routan, a Chrysler built minivan that doesn't even have the great features of a Chrysler minivan. If you want the fancy flip down table, or the swiveling chairs, of the Chrysler vans, you can't get it with the Volkswagen.

It's like buying a racehorse and then breaking its legs.

So, no, overdrive isn't necessary.

However, an I-beam falling from the sky, crushing the Volkswagen Routan like a tin can? That is necessary.

Edit: For a different, and much more positive view, of the Routan visit A Routan Owner's Blog.