The Despised: Part Two

Behold, the second part of the exploration of what cars should burn in an Automotive Hades.

Our segment this time? The four-door sedan.

The subject is the Mercedes-Benz CLS (2004-Present).

No, it's not a bad looking car. Not at all. In fact, it's quite nice looking. The slightly awkward headlights are the only thing that keep it from being beautiful.

The back is quite nice as well.
The line running down the side, just over the door handles, really helps emphasize this car's length. It's quite sleek and stylish.

So why does it deserve to burn for over a thousand years? Well, let's look at it from profile.
There are four doors on this car. That, naturally, makes it a four-door sedan. Simple, yes?

No. Mercedes-Benz single-handedly managed to make a new market segment with this car. They call it a four door coupe.

Now, a coupe is a two-door car. If it has four doors, it's a sedan. This is how the world has worked since the automobile was first invented.

Calling this a four-door coupe is like calling a house cat a lion. Yes, the cat may hunt. But it can't run down a zebra.

This car may have a plunging roof-line, but it's not a coupe.

That is why this car must roast, it made a market segment our of thin air. People want different vehicles, that's a fact. That's why the car market has turned into a mishmash of SUVs, CUVs, station wagons, hatchbacks, sedans, coupes, and various styles of trucks.

It's how the free market works. But when a company markets a product as something it's not, it cannot be ignored. Retribution must occur.

So, naturally, others retaliated.

By doing the same thing.

Like Porsche with its Panamera.

And Aston Martin, with its Rapide.


Even Volkswagen got in on the game.
It's called the Passat CC. The "CC" stands for Comfort Coupe

Audi and BMW are supposedly going to come out with one each.

See, it's a virus. Create a ridiculous, pointless market niche and people will just flood into it.

I'm not saying these are bad cars. Actually, all are quite good. However, the segment that they're in, that's ridiculous. When someone creates a niche that's totally unnecessary, it's the sign of a marketing man not trying hard enough.

So, no, overdrive isn't necessary.

However, a large mallet to pound some sense into the marketing men around the world? That is necessary.